Silicon Valley has a unique knack for taking old concepts and marketing them as groundbreaking innovations, and Tesla exemplifies this trend. Enthusiastic supporters tend to embrace even the simplest features—like tire pressure monitoring—like they are the latest tech marvel. Now, Tesla enthusiasts have taken this to a new level with a curious trend: silicone oven mitts for brake calipers, touted as “Performance Appearance Technology.” Yes, you read that right.
This so-called “innovation” comes from Caliper Skins, which claims their product is akin to phone covers but for brake calipers. According to the company, painting brake calipers is a complicated process. To spare you a trip to their website for further cringe-worthy content, let me share one excerpt:
“Don’t waste your time and money having your calipers painted,” proclaims their website. “That’s a permanent modification you might regret. Just think about it. Wouldn’t it be nice to revert back to stock caliper condition easily? For vehicle resale? For lease termination? If so, Caliper Skins is your best and only option.”
Think this is a waste of money? If you’re a Tesla owner, you might feel differently. These caliper covers retail at $180 and are compatible only with the Model 3 and Y. Personally, I could spend $20 on spray paint and sandpaper and achieve a much better outcome in any color of my choice. Assembling these calipers isn’t rocket science, even for someone like me who struggles with the basics. I’m so frustrated that I’m seriously considering painting my brake calipers purely out of rebellion against this so-called “Performance Appearance Technology.”
The issue goes beyond just aesthetics. These silicone covers also present a serious functional drawback: they hinder cooling. While painted brake calipers allow for better airflow, thereby keeping them cool during intense driving, silicone is poor at conducting heat, effectively insulating your brakes instead.
To calm potential buyers, Caliper Skins highlights on their Amazon listing that their “patented caliper-specific vented design ensures heat dissipation rates comparable to the control sample.” However, it’s tough to believe that placing silicone over your brake calipers wouldn’t heighten the likelihood of brake issues during various driving scenarios. It’s almost as if you’re spray-painting your rotors—ridiculous and, frankly, dangerous.
I would feel less embarrassed making replica splitter guards for Dodge vehicles than I would promoting these caliper covers. In fact, forget that comparison—Dodge splitter guard enthusiasts shouldn’t be associated with this crowd. At least they’re not under the delusion that their cars drive themselves.
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