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If you’ve ever explored Project Car Hell, you know it truly exists and is filled with disassembled engines and frustrated owners who have succumbed to a collection of missteps and poor choices. Such a scenario can lead even the most committed amateur mechanics to decide it’s time to cut their losses and abandon their once-adored projects. On the bright side, we occasionally get to enjoy the amusingly straightforward Craigslist postings that arise from these predicaments. A prime example is this ad from a man named Matt in California, who is eager to sell his non-functioning 1980 Toyota Corolla TE72 liftback, aptly titled “This Car Sucks.”
Matt’s frustration is evident, and we certainly sympathize with him. Nonetheless, it’s hard not to laugh when you compare the images of the Corolla’s relatively decent exterior and usable interior with the sheer negativity expressed in his ad. After outlining the car’s specifications—it once boasted a working 1.8-liter 3T-C inline-four engine, a 5-speed transmission, and air conditioning—Matt dives into a series of complaints: “This car sucks. The paint sucks, the interior is shot, the wheels are an unattractive gold, and the engine is currently torn apart.”
What’s the cause of his ire? Matt reveals that a certain someone involved in a recent engine rebuild neglected to reinstall the valve lifters when reassembling, leading to “major damage” when he attempted to start the Corolla. How that oversight occurred is anyone’s guess. A peek under the hood shows a missing cylinder head and a rather forlorn engine, making it evident that Matt has no plans to invest further time or energy into this car.
“The current top speed of this ugly duckling is ZERO. I’m moving out of the country in a few weeks; please tow this heap of junk out of my driveway ASAP,” he pleads.
However, if you look more closely, there are some bittersweet details. The title is current and clear, indicating that the owner originally planned to return the vehicle to the road, and the odometer shows 117,000 miles, suggesting it was once reliable. It’s evident that things have reached a critical point when a car enthusiast can’t even bear to gaze upon his lightweight, rust-free, rear-wheel-drive Japanese vehicle anymore. At least Matt appears to grasp the reality of trying to sell a project on Craigslist.
“I look forward to your ridiculous lowball offers and inquiries about whether the car is still available, only for you to promptly vanish from all communication,” he writes.
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